Hookup culture has long dominated queer relationships, even if queer people are more likely to actually be in relationships than their straight counterparts. But that doesn’t mean the model works, and it’s time we redefined what gay relationships look like, especially in our new past-pandemic mental health-aware world. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, it’s time to break up with hookup culture and move on to something real. In this article, we’ll explore the top reasons why you should break up with hookup culture and commit to improving your mental health.
What is hookup culture?
Hookup culture, or the idea that sexual relationships have no emotional commitment and are purely about sex, has become a normal part of gay men’s lives. But what if you are looking for something more meaningful, aren’t we all looking for meaning in life? What if you want to find someone who cares about your happiness and well-being as much as you do theirs? What if your ideal relationship is one where you can be yourself without feeling like an object? And how many people actually think that way? Or what if the whole open relationships/hookup concept is just a juicy marketing scheme used by a handful of dating industry monopolies whose entire business model is based on NOT finding the right person for anyone, but keeping them paying for a service that is designed to keep them single and mentally sick forever?
Some might argue that hookups are just natural for some gay men, and there may be some truth to that. But does it mean we should accept hookups as all there is for our community? Should we stay quiet when we’re not happy with something so common among our peers? No! That’s why we’ve compiled this list of 5 ways to break up with hookup culture and move on to something more fulfilling.
Why break up with hookup culture?
The truth is that hookup culture isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, it can have some pretty nasty side effects. You may think that you’re getting what you want from this lifestyle, but if you take a step back and really look at what you’re getting out of the whole thing, you might find that there are other things that would make you happier. Think about your time outside of hookups and how much you enjoy them. Are they really as much fun when they involve hookups? If not, then perhaps now is the time to break up with hookup culture once and for all. There are many more fulfilling ways to spend your time than constantly looking for one-night stands or having brief flings. Your body deserves more than just random sexual encounters, so put an end to this unfulfilling cycle today!
How to break up with hookup culture?
It’s not easy to break up with hookup culture. It can feel like you’re breaking up with a friend, and it can take some time to get used to the new lifestyle. But if you want something more, the effort is worth it. And once you do break up with your old ways, there will be a lot of benefits that come your way. You’ll be more confident in yourself and life because you won’t have to worry about sleeping around anymore. You’ll have plenty of time for other things that are actually fulfilling. And at the end of the day, people will look at you differently because they know that sex isn’t your only ambition in life.
Ways people defend hookup culture
Hookups can be a great way to explore your sexuality, but that doesn’t mean they’re the right choice for everyone. In fact, hookups have been shown to have a negative impact on physical and mental health, especially when they’re used as a coping mechanism for feeling lonely or anxious. Plus, if you find yourself hooking up with someone who is unavailable for more than one night (including your friends), you’re probably not getting what you need out of the encounter. It’s time to start thinking about what kind of relationship you want, and how to get there. The bottom line is this: it’s time we all make a change in our own lives because it’s clear that this culture isn’t working anymore.
Tips for finding real relationships in this world
It can be really hard to find a real relationship when you’re surrounded by hookups. But the good news is that we live in a world where there are people of all different shapes, sizes, and orientations. There are people out there who want something real just as much as you do. You just have to get out there and find them!
- Start by getting off your phone- it’s too easy to scroll through profiles on dating apps like Grindr or Tinder and decide that no one is worth your time. Then before you know it, hours have passed without any interactions with people in person. Make an effort to put down your phone and meet people IRL.
- Ask yourself what you’re looking for not just in a partner, but in life. What would make this next chapter amazing? Maybe you want someone to grow old with or maybe you want to explore the world together. Figure out what type of lifestyle makes you happy, then look for someone who shares those goals with you.
- Stop thinking about relationships as a means to an end if you’re only interested in meeting new people or finding sex partners, then yeah, go ahead and sign up for Grindr or another gay app. But if you want something more than that, it might be time to change the way you approach dating.
- Get out of your comfort zone – take a class, volunteer somewhere, or join an organization. Do things that will expose you to different types of people and broaden your horizons.
- Let everyone know what you’re looking for – there’s nothing wrong with being open about the kind of relationships you want. Right people are more likely to notice you if you manifest what you are looking for in your own life.
Be honest about who you are and what you’re looking for and the right person will come along soon enough. Sure, there will be rejections here and there, but you’ll never find true love if you don’t try. All the little things you do today – whether it’s online or in person – will help lead to big changes tomorrow. We can break up with hookup culture together; all we need is a little bit of faith and courage.
